Sunday, October 30, 2005

The Way I See It #4

The "no photo" issue:

- Ever notice that most of the girls who wear those tiny, hip hugger pants and crop t-shirts are WAY too overweight to pull it off? Who wants to see your rolls hanging out over the top of your jeans? You look like a sausage. What is it about fat chicks that makes them think they're soooo hot and their sh*t don't stink?

- Once and for all people, it's called "karaoke", not "rap-aoke". If all your going to do is speak the words to a song (and badly), get off the stage.

- What is the deal with those spam e-mails you get that end with a string of words like: bountiful adventure gleaming comprehend doorknob silence?

- The English language is completely screwed up. We have exceptions to every rule and exceptions to those exceptions. "I before E except after C"...so how do you explain "foreign"? I have a personal pet peeve, say the following words out loud:

Fuses

Fusses

Buses

Wait a minute, why isn't that busses? How anyone learns to speak this crazy language astounds me.

- And finally, I was out walking the other day (without my camera), and sitting at a stop light was a taxi cab with an ad for "Jubilee" on the roof. It's a photo of a half-naked girl in a g-string covered in jewels. Then I notice the truck right behind it...and on the side of the truck in bright red letters all it says is "Schwing".

4 comments:

Kingfisher said...

2 weeks with nada? Getcher ass offa de couch, boy! We're still reading even if we don't shower you with praise in the comments section.

Verification:
argtlpd = Arrgh! Totally lame punkass dickheads!

jazz bird said...

I hafta' agree with your bro here. I miss you, your witicisms and slice-of-life insight. :-)

Hope you're well. I hope even more that you're not writing much because you've got better things to do- hehe.

Kingfisher said...

Bueller?
Bueller...?
Bueller.....?

Anonymous said...

Ok, since he put up a personal plea on here a while back I figure we can do the same. Where are ya Bolt? Did you drop off the planet or something, or are things going well and you're just busy? Enquiring minds want to know:)