Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A letter for the year 2008

Dear 2008,


Fuck You.

No...SERIOUSLY...

FUCK YOU!!!

You took my love.

You took my job.

You took my self-esteem.

You took my sanity.

You stabbed me through the heart.

You took my health.

You put me in the hospital.

You kicked me when I was down.

You gave me nothing to live for.

You damn near killed me.

I have been through some bad years in my life, but you my friend, take the whole FUCKING enchilada.

If it had been within my power, I would have kicked your sorry ass to the curb long ago.

You took.

And you took.

Then you took some more.

And when I didn't have anything left to take, you left me bleeding and unconscious, lying among the pile of crumbled pieces of what used to be called my life.

In numerology, on a scale from 1 to 9, you literally rank 1.

Personally, I give you -23.

No wait...that's still too high.

I have had enough of your presence.

Go away.

I hope you get fucked up the ass with a red-hot poker on your way out.

I will not miss any part of you.

Not one single moment.

It was only 2 days into your existence that you let me know your true intentions, you miserable fuck.

You haven't improved since.

You will not be missed, you fucking bastard.

_________________________________


Welcome, 2009.

I greet you with an open mind, an open heart and open arms...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Way I See It #18


Hopefully they're "hinirg" someone with a dictionary...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Over You
-by Daughtry-

Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
Fell too far, was in way to deep
I guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you
More than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
and spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

The day I thought I'd never get through
I'll get over you

You took a hammer to these walls
dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
When you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should of started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you
More than you know

I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together

It's a day I thought I'd never get through
I'll get over you

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I think my car radio is trying to tell me something

My now ex-girlfriend calls me today to tell me that she is going to be in town next weekend, but that I won't see her. She's only passing through on her way to L.A. to visit relatives.

You can't meet me for a drink and discuss this mess? I mean, technically, we still live together, right?

She continues. She will be back between the 18th and the 22nd of January to pack up her stuff and move it back to Colorado...her father will be driving down in a truck to help.

Ouch.

I guess there's no time to talk things through. It appears she doesn't even want to try. She's also upped her move to New York, it's now the first week of February.

I ask her, "What are you doing for money?"

She says, "Nothing."

"Wouldn't it be smarter to just come back to Las Vegas and work for a month or so, saving a few bucks, before moving across the country?" Her old job would definitely take her back, even if only temporarily.

Besides, from my end, everything was still fine. The last time I saw her we still held hands, and kissed, and said "I love you". There was no fizzling out period. There were no arguments, no screaming matches. Nothing at all. She had simply changed her mind and didn't tell me...until the end. I never got to say "goodbye" to this relationship. Selfishly, I wanted her to come back home and we could let things progress naturally. It would make this a lot easier on me. We could do some of the things we used to enjoy doing together, even if it was only for a month or so.

This was just an end with no meaning.

She says she doesn't want to come back to Vegas...ever. She's decided what she wants to do and she wants it to start as soon as possible. She hates it here and wants to leave everything behind.

Wait a minute, I'm here...and so is everything we ever did together.

Feeling hurt, I say "Gee, thanks." At which point she gets all huffy and starts to yell into the phone.

So I hang up on her.

Not the most mature move, granted, but I don't feel like being mature right now. Besides, I've felt like hanging up on her for weeks.

I.

Am.

Done.

I stand up and start to pack up all my holiday decorations and several other boxes. I take down all her calendars, candles, vases, pillows and bath products and pile them on the dining room floor. I simply don't want to look at them anymore. It appears there is no way around it. I will be moving somewhere in the next 3 months...and like she had said, I would rather start RIGHT NOW.

I pack up my car and head off to my storage unit.

The radio clicks on. It's the All-American Rejects song "Move Along". How fitting I think.

Next song? OMC's "How Bizarre". The only song in the history of the world to have my ex-girlfriends name in it. "Zina" isn't exactly a common name. Yes, truly bizarre.

I get to my storage unit and re-organize some boxes, making room for all the crap that's going to go in there over the next few months.

Back in the car, heading home, the radio clicks on again. To the exact second, it's the very first note of Sheryl Crow's "Leaving Las Vegas".

Hmmm...

I think my car radio is trying to tell me something.