No, I'm not talking about the cute, bald alien with the glowing digit from Steven Spielberg's classic blockbuster, I'm talking about "Entertainment Tonight". Just one of the many annoying celebrity stalking paparazzi programs that seem to always be on TV.
"Angelina Jolie was spotted in Paris today shopping for clothes for the baby Pitt. We have an exclusive look at some of the baby clothes she may have purchased." Okay, I don't care what she actually did purchase, much less what she may have purchased. Nor do I care what Brad Pitt ate for lunch while she was out shopping.
But the thing that drives bamboo chutes under my fingernails is the cutesy-pie, sugar-coated nicknames they give to celebrity couples by combining each of their names. You know what I'm talking about, "Brangelina", "Bennifer", "Vaughniston", "Tomkat"...and as though that wasn't bad enough, now that Katie Holmes has given birth, they are referring to the baby as the "Tomkitten".
Excuse me while I go barf.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
"What did I do with the _____?"
I have a hair dryer. My hair is short and I don't find very many occasions to use it. After I take a shower I usually just throw some gel in my hair and let it air dry. That hair dryer will sit on my bathroom countertop unplugged for months, mocking me every day with it's clutter-ness, until finally I'm forced to put it away underneath the sink. Without fail, the very next morning I will have need of a hair dryer...
Life is like that. The second you put something away, no matter how long it's been since the last time you used it, you will need it.
The pair of scissors that sit on your kitchen countertop unused for ages, until you finally put them away in a drawer. An hour later, you need a pair of scissors.
The sweater that you kept out well into the spring months, until you finally put it away with the rest of your winter storage. The very next day a cold snap hits.
The Scotch tape that you thought wasn't important enough to move with you to your new house, so you threw it out. As soon as you're settled, you realize you have a hundred uses for Scotch tape.
The lone, blank video cassette that sits on top of your VCR forever, until a friend asks if he can use it. The very next day there is something on TV you want to record.
The Halloween costume that went unworn for years, until you finally got so tired of looking at it that you gave it to the Salvation Army. The very next Halloween, you think "Oh crap! That costume would have been perfect this year!".
And people wonder why I always have stuff lying around my apartment.
Life is like that. The second you put something away, no matter how long it's been since the last time you used it, you will need it.
The pair of scissors that sit on your kitchen countertop unused for ages, until you finally put them away in a drawer. An hour later, you need a pair of scissors.
The sweater that you kept out well into the spring months, until you finally put it away with the rest of your winter storage. The very next day a cold snap hits.
The Scotch tape that you thought wasn't important enough to move with you to your new house, so you threw it out. As soon as you're settled, you realize you have a hundred uses for Scotch tape.
The lone, blank video cassette that sits on top of your VCR forever, until a friend asks if he can use it. The very next day there is something on TV you want to record.
The Halloween costume that went unworn for years, until you finally got so tired of looking at it that you gave it to the Salvation Army. The very next Halloween, you think "Oh crap! That costume would have been perfect this year!".
And people wonder why I always have stuff lying around my apartment.
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