Friday, July 28, 2006

I just love old people

One unremarkable afternoon I'm at the gym when I see this elderly woman on one of the treadmills trying to get it started. She sees me, motions me over and says rather harshly, "Excuse me, young man. How do you get this thing start?". Now it's a new model of treadmill and I've never used this particular one before, so I take a look at it and see "Touch here to start" displayed brazenly across the screen. The rest of the conversation went something like this:

"Okay, just touch the screen right here", I press the button.

"Oh, now how do you get it to speed up?"

"Just push right here where it says 'Speed' with the up and down arrows."

"Okay, now how do you increase the incline?"

"Just push right here where it says 'Incline' with the up and down arrows."

"You know I just spent 15 minutes on that other treadmill over there trying to get it to go, and nothing happened." She points the culprit out to me.

"I'll go check it out for you."

So I walk over to the demon treadmill, but before I even get close I can see what the problem is...the screen is completely blank. There's no power. So I look to the side of the machine and yup, it's not plugged in. I plug it back in and it comes to life with a "Beep".

I head back over to Granny.

"The problem was that the treadmill wasn't plugged in."

"Oh. Now where do I plug in my headphones?"

"See the little headphone symbol next to that plug?"

"Oh, okay. Now how do I change the TV channel on the screen?"

"Just push right here where it says 'Channel' with the up and down arrows."

"Uh huh. Okay, now how do I turn up the volume?"

"Just push right here where it says 'Volume' with the up and down arrows."

...I just love old people.