Sunday, October 11, 2009

Dating In The Year 2009

In an effort to get myself "back out there", as in attempt to date again, I have posted profiles on several different "dating" websites.

These things are a compulsive liars paradise.

Women regail you with stories of how much they like to jet-ski or parachute or hang glide. They love to travel to exotic locations and spend their summers in Fiji. They have amazing lives filled with culture and color. They are deeply spiritual. They are wise beyond their years.

Their stories aren't just "seasoned", they're outright fictional.

If that wasn't bad enough, they are also apparently delusional about their appearance.

Case in point.

I get an e-mail from this woman saying "Hi cutie!". She claims in her bio that her body type is, and I quote, "Average".....


On what PLANET and in what REALITY are you considered average?????

Oh wait, I get it...the person she just ATE was average.

Do these people have funhouse mirrors in their bedrooms? Because I sure as hell ain't seeing an "average" sized woman here...

I see Shamu.

4 comments:

Shari_M said...

Scott,

I met my husband on Match.com (long before it was popular). There are people out there who are truthful and sincere.
Keep in mind that you have spent years with beautiful show girls with legs up to their chins. It's hard for the average gal to compete with that (the "average" american woman is a size 12).
Don't give up hope. Good things happen when you are ready to receive them.

Anonymous said...

Well said Shari!!

~Melissa(former showgirl with legs up to her chin)

Scott said...

Well, both of you are mistaken.

All I ask for is just a LITTLE "truth in advertising".

There is NO WAY on God's green earth that this woman is anything other than clinically OBESE! She's ANYTHING but "average"!

And if I still wanted to date "showgirls with legs up to their chins" I'm sure I could find one somewhere.

Showgirls are all nut jobs anyway.

Even you would agree with that statement, Melissa.

Anonymous said...

"nutjob"? .......no

I prefer "beautiful freak of nature".

:)

~Melissa