On this Independence Day weekend, I figured what better way to celebrate the freedom and liberties that come with living in this country than to go down to the World Trade Center and pay my respects to all those who died on September 11th. I've lived in New York for a little over a year now and am ashamed to say I haven't been down there before.
It was a very somber, thoughtful atmosphere, most of the time people spoke in whispers. The entire area is fenced in and there are a lot of billboards posted with facts about the attacks, photographs, a timeline, and an alphabetical list of all those who died. It was pretty much what I expected to see.
What I didn't expect was that in one brief moment a surge of anger grew within me...no, not anger, RAGE. Like an intense flame in my chest that spread out to my fingertips. I wanted to find someone, ANYONE who was responsible for this and stab them as many times as I could with a dull, rusty, serrated knife and then set fire to their bleeding corpse, preferably while they were still conscious. I'm not kidding. I'm not sure I've ever hated someone that much. I just wanted to hurt them, hurt them in ways that shouldn't even be thought of...
And then, as quickly as it came on, it left. I felt strange, slightly disoriented. Yes, I thought seeing Ground Zero would be a sobering experience, but...what just happened? I experienced 9/11 on a TV screen, like most people. But being there, seeing that empty space firsthand is simply overwhelming.
3 comments:
Seeing ground zero for the first time...so many thoughts and emotions are conveyed just by even thinking about what happened there that are hard to describe. I have no idea what it looks like now but I saw it about 10 months after the attack, the thoughts and emotions I experienced could only be described as crippling in their intensity...however, I think that's as it should be. So much distruction, so much loss of life, shouldn't be something you can be in the presence of, even now, and not have a physical reaction to. One hundred different people would have one hundred different reactions and thought processes when seeing ground zero, and that's good too. It helps to ensure we will all truly never forget...
Some emotions are unexplainable, just as some acts are unfathomable.
*bows head in silent sadness and reverence*
Wow, I was just brought back to the first time I saw Ground Zero post-attack. It was my trip before last, nearly a year ago. It always takes me a couple days to get my bearings, so I made an accidental wrong turn and was absolutely taken off-guard. I'd purposely avoided the site on previous trips up to that point. I just stood there for a few moments, stunned, completely speechless and unable to move. It's a powerful place. I had a similar reaction to your post. It's just so unfathomable to me that something of this nature could even happen.
The first time I was ever in NY, I'd stayed literally across the street at a friend's place. We'd look up at the towers at night from the roof of their high-rise. It was an eerie contrast. Some day, perhaps, I'll be strong enough to make a purposeful visit, but doubt that will be any time soon.
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