Friday, March 31, 2006

Corporate America Can Kiss My A**

I know you've heard about them, these corporate "buzz sessions" that are supposed to bring "a sense of unity"...corporate retreats to a happy little campground or bonding exercises to make the employees feel like one big, happy family. Starting this week at my job, at the beginning of every shift, they are requiring us to all meet together in a group and say the following out loud, with energy...twice.

1,2,3,4,5,6, Smile!
2,2,3,4,5,6, Smile!
Smile to the right!
Smile to the left!
Smile all around!
Get rid of that frown!

I wish I was kidding. I really do...but I'm not. It's beyond ridiculous, especially in my line of work, where it's beyond pointless. We smile for a living you idiots, that's what you're paying us to do. It's meant to bring up morale, but since it's implementation I find it has had the exact opposite effect. It all started following a huge corporate take-over. The quality of food in the employee cafeteria has gone severely downhill. They've changed our pay schedule twice. Our paychecks haven't been correct in months...I'm still waiting to be reimbursed for hours I wasn't paid back in the beginning of January. We have been over taxed on our paychecks since September and still are. They claim to be correcting the problem and say they will reimburse us soon...but c'mon, it's been 7 months. Morale is at an all-time low, and you can feel the heaviness in the air as you walk down the hallways. Why on earth would we want to "smile all around, get rid of that frown"?

The day after this bullshit was implemented, a notice was posted on the board for a meeting where employees could meet with the higher-ups and discuss any concerns or problems they might be having...

The notice was posted 6 hours after the meeting ended.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aah... so sad grasshopper..the (2nd) oldest showgirl production show has fallen prey to the 'MAN'. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Kingfisher said...

What a huge piled obvious steaming load.

I hate that kind of shit.

Fuckin' corporate hippies.

"If we can just understand our 'togetherness' everyone will forget pay scales, stock price, and how we are ripping your soul denying your benefits missing the focus of our business entirely."

Having spent much of my career in corporate managment, I have seen this all too often. I have refused to play the stupid game, and my paycheck shows it.

But I still have my integrity.

Unlike oh-so-many I know. (wink wink)

Anonymous said...

They would be better off just asking you to do a shot before each show...

could help morale...

maybe...

At least you got a free shot.