Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Crappy Valentine's Day

Who invented this stupid holiday anyway? Hallmark? Russell Stover? Tiffany's? Or perhaps all the florists of the world got together and created it. In any case, this has to be the stupidest idea for making me spend more money I don't have. Guys seem to know this...girls do not. A guy could let this day pass by and probably wouldn't even notice...or give a damn. But WOE TO HIM if he were to forget to lavishly adore his loving wife/girlfriend. Look babe, I just bought you a pair of diamond stud earrings 6 weeks ago for Christmas. Why is it women give a shit about this "holiday"? Why can't they see through it's insincerity like the cellophane on the box of chocolates you're doomed to shop for. On this one day of the year, men are pressured to feel all lovey-dovey and express it in no uncertain terms. Excuse me, but isn't love a bit more unscheduled? Isn't love a bit more spontaneous? No, I'm sorry you have to feel totally, unabashedly in love with her TODAY.

Then of course there's the single person, and there are just a few of us out there, who get this opportunity once a year to feel completely left out by this fabricated holiday. Don't have a sweetheart? Well what the hell is wrong with you anyway? Geez, you must be some kind of complete loser not to be in a relationship. Go home and sit in front of your T.V. alone and drown yourself in a quart of Ben and Jerry's. You're a freak, you don't belong, and as though you don't feel lonely enough, here it is to rub it in your face all over again...

Fuck Valentine's Day.

4 comments:

Kingfisher said...

Amen, Brother! Testify!

Preachin' to the choir here.

jazz bird said...

I think at a certain point, time becomes a much more important and precious gift. More women get that than I think you might realize, although some figure it out earlier than others. In every attempt to sound as far from cliche as possible, she's out there. And she gets it.

Happy Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or whenever you read this.

Anonymous said...

I agree it's TOTALLY blown out of proportion. I was even to the point of gagging the last time i saw a damn Jared jewlers commercial. It's SOOOOO much more important to show someone you love them all the time. I mean, if someone is an ass/bitch the rest of the year what could they POSSIBLEY do in one day that makes it all better.

At the same time I still like the idea of being with my honey on V-day. Dont need diamonds or flowers (never actually gotten flowers for V-day personally). Just hang with me. Go out to dinner, hell stay in and make fun of all the sappy movies on TV!

I'm with jazzbird.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree even though I'm a female. Valentine's Day was so much more exciting when you were a kid and never knew if you would get a school valentine card from you current secret boyfriend. Of course, boys didn't like Valentine's Day any more then than they do now...but still there was the POSSIBILITY!! And you felt excited terror if you gave one to him. Now you feel like you MUST get something because the media tells you so. The fun has gone out of it even if you do get something (Which hardly ever happens in this house).