Fuck you.

I am sick to FUCKING death of people telling me what they think I should, or should not, post on my blog.

This is (or was) MY God-damn blog.

I can say whatever the hell I want.

I can post photos you don't like.

I can post ideas you disagree with.

Things that make you think.

Piss you off.

It's called "venting" you fucking morons, it's healthy and yes, ABSOLUTELY necessary.

My blog isn't for YOU.

My blog isn't about YOU.

It's for ME.

It's for my own sanity.

It's an online "Dear Diary".

If you don't like it, then don't read it.

Keep your idealistic, moronic, stupid, ill-informed and judgemental opinions to yourselves.

I am taking an extended, if not permanent vacation.

Somewhere deep down I knew this was going to happen, but still...

It's truly sad when you do the math.

You wake up one perfectly normal day and you realize...

Turning 21?

That was half your life ago.

You've already been there/done that.

Twice.

2009 - The Year In Review

Today is the last day of that year...and what an unforgettable year it was for a lot of us.

We lost a great deal of good people this year...too many.

As we embark together on the journey that is to become the year 2010, please take a moment with me to think about what these people gave us during their lives.

Here, in no particular order, is only a partial list of who we lost:

-Michael Jackson-

-Farrah Fawcett-

-Patrick Swayze-

-Brittany Murphy-

-John Hughes-

-Natasha Richardson-

-Ron Silver-

-Bea Arthur-

-David Carradine-

-Karl Malden-

-Ed McMahon-

-Dom DeLuise-

-Ricardo Montalban-

-Walter Cronkite-

-Danny Gans-

-Henry Gibson-

-Mary Travers-

-Merce Cunningham-

-John Updike-

-James Whitmore-

-Soupy Sales-

-Les Paul-

-Maurice Jarre-

The world is a little emptier without their presence...

The Way I See It #20

"Mommy, what kind of fishing bait is this? It's all gooey!"

Uh, could you change your name...please?

I'm actually at work right now, entering information into the company's database. My job, at least for now, is to update the companys' contact info from the past, oh, several decades.

I just entered an address yesterday that was dated "1986".

But today I entered the name of an organization I simply cannot believe. It's the "History Day in California and Free Expression in a Free Society Programs Constitutional Rights Foundation".

...these guys take themselves WAY too seriously.

Drumroll please...

I got the results back from my recent MRI.

As I feared, they didn't find anything wrong with my knee. No tears, no damage of any kind.

Worst of all, they didn't find ANYTHING. They didn't even see that I'd had part of my meniscus surgically removed in Germany back in 1996.

That's more than just a little disturbing.

What the doctor did state, was that she thought I may be suffering from "tendinosis".

Wikipedia defines "Tendinsosis" as:

"Sometimes called chronic tendinitis, tendinosis, chronic tendinopathy or chronic tendon injury, is damage to a tendon at a cellular level (the suffix "osis" implies a pathology of chronic degeneration without inflammation). It is thought to be caused by microtears in the connective tissue in and around the tendon, leading to an increase in tendon repair cells. This may lead to reduced tensile strength, thus increasing the chance of tendon rupture. Tendinosis is often misdiagnosed as tendinitis due to the limited understanding of tendinopathies by the medical community."

WebMD defines "Tendinitis" as:

"When the tendon gets inflamed it is known as tendinitis, and when the tendons are chronically overused, it may lead to microscopic tears in the collagen matrix and causes a gradual weakening of the tissues."

It is also pointed out that:

"Initial recovery is usually within 2 to 3 months and full recovery is within 3 to 6 months. About 80% of patients will fully recover."

But they also point out that:

'Recurrence of injury in the damaged region of tendon is common."

The doctor is referring me to a specialist who I assume I will be seeing sometime after the New Year.

They will let me know.

Back to work...sort of.

I went back to work yesterday, only 3 hours after having an MRI taken of my knee.

I'm not back to my old job, there's no way I can move furniture all day. I won't receive the results from my MRI for several days.

I've been stuffed into a back room roughly the size of a ham sandwich, sitting down in front of a computer and creating, from scratch, a contact database from years and years of stored up paperwork.

I'm working alphabetically.

I worked for almost 5 hours yesterday.

I'm up to the word "American".

That's halfway through the letter "A".

Or in other words, 1/52 of the way through the alphabet.

Now, I'm no slouch on a computer. At top speed, I've been clocked at 90 words per minute. But some, no MOST of these files are incomplete. For about 1/3 of the entries, I have to go on the Internet to find a missing phone number, or contact name, or e-mail address. It's very time consuming.

It's a damn good thing that the "closet" they've stuck me in is only about 20 feet from the coffee station. Guess I can count my blessings.

No wait, the men's bathroom is on the other side of the building.

So, judging by yesterdays' outcome, mathematically speaking, it's going to take me roughly 260 hours to complete this job. At a full 40 hour work week, not allowing for lunches or bathroom breaks, that's 6 1/2 WEEKS of sitting in front of a computer screen, in a cramped room, entering the same information over, and over, and over, and over.

...and you know there are more entries under some letters than others.

I can't WAIT to get to the letters "E" and "S"!!!

But do you want to know the silliest part of this entire situation?

I have to show up for work every day dressed in black dress slacks, a white pressed shirt and a tie.

I enter the hotel through the back door.

I walk down a short hallway to my dungeon, where I spend the entire shift at a computer console in a modified closet.

I don't come into contact with any guests.

I might see 1 or 2 other employees...probably not even that many.

So why can't I come to work in a tank top, pajama bottoms and fuzzy, pink bunny slippers?

UPDATE:

After another 8 hours of data entry, I'm finally up to the letter "B".

Sign of the times...unfortunately.

The United States Post Office has declared that they will no longer deliver your "letters to Santa".

That service is to be discontinued.

Not to fear, though. They have the problem well in hand.

Children everywhere can send Santa Claus a text message from their cell phone.

...wait a minute.

Jolly old Saint Nick?

Who is still dressed in a red suit from the 1800's?

Who still drives a SLEIGH?

Who still makes toys out of, what's that stuff called again? Oh yeah, WOOD?

Has a cell phone???

Does he get reception at the North Pole???

...and just how much would it cost to receive 6 BILLION text messages anyway???

The Way I See It #19

Of course, DEAD animals are OK!

An accident waiting to happen?

Does anyone out there remember a ship named, umm, what was it called again?

Oh yeah, TITANIC???

Didn't we learn our lesson the FIRST time?

_____________________________________________________________

"Oasis of the Seas: Titanic Proportions"

"Royal Carribean's Oasis of the Seas debuts in December as the world's largest cruise ship. It is nearly five times the gross tonnage of the Titanic, and 1 1/2 times longer than the U.S. Capitol building, has 16 decks and has a capacity for 6,296 guests. You may also be pleased to know that Oasis has the largest lifeboats in the cruise world. Each one can hold nearly 370 people."

___________________________________________________________________

Oh, I'm VERY pleased to know that. If history has a lesson to be learned here, those lifeboats are going to be needed.

Why are we as humans OBSESSED with "bigger and better"?

5 TIMES the size of the TITANIC???

We all know how well THAT ended.

When does it stop?

How many warning signs do you need?????

The 12 Days of Christmas

On my way home from the gym this afternoon in my car, I decided to turn on the local "Christmas" radio station.

Every town's got one.

You know, the one that plays only Christmas music starting around Thanksgiving and plays it 24 hours a day until Christmas. Well, they just happened to be playing "The 12 Days of Christmas". Not my favorite Christmas tune, but what the heck.

What startled me was after the song finished.

The DJ came back on and announced that a small independent company had tallied up what everything in that song would cost at today's market value.

...you wanna take a guess as to how much it would cost you?

...I'll wait.

...dum-dee-dum-dee-dum.

...la-dee-dah-dee-dah.

...okay, here's what they said it would cost at today's market price.

...hold on to your wallet.

$87,000.00!!!

Hey babe, it may be Christmas and yes, I do love you...but wouldn't you rather settle for, oh, I don't know, maybe A CAR???

IT WOULD BE CHEAPER!!!!!

I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say, so call it "stream of consciousness"...

Today is Wednesday.

I see the doctor again tomorrow.

I'm bored speechless.

I actually caught myself watching "Days Of Our Lives" yesterday.

Dear God.

I started my annual "24 days of Christmas" decorating yesterday. I do it every year.

On December 1st, you hang a string of lights.

On December 2nd, you put a wreath on the front door.

On December 3rd, you hang another string of lights.

On December 4th, you put out one of those light-up, animated reindeer.

On December 5th, you hang yet another string of lights.

...and so on, and so on, all month long until by December 24th your place resembles Chevy Chase's house in "Christmas Vacation". Thank God for LED's. They save you TONS of money on the electric bill. Hey, it just ain't Christmas if you can still see the house behind all the decorations on Christmas morning. How else do you think Santa's gonna find you? My place is clearly visible from space. The astronauts on the International Space Station use it as a beacon.

It's true.

...and I've got the only Christmas Palm Tree on the block, that's for sure.

Well, gotta go now. I have to line the front walkway with light-up candy canes!

Merry Christmas everybody!

Thanksgiving

To give thanks.

But who exactly are we giving thanks to?

Ourselves?

We make our own lives.

We live by our own decisions.

We decide poorly at times, but that which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Perhaps an over-used saying, but oh so true.

But I am thankful.

Even as I sit here on my couch, my knee wrapped up, hobbling around the house.

I see the doctor again in 5 hours. I hope they will finally schedule me for an MRI. I've been out of work for 5 weeks now. They've GOT to do SOMETHING!!! It's not getting any better on its own.

Unfortunately, in my heart of hearts, I'm reasonably sure this is more than some sort of bad sprain. It, more than likely, is going to require some sort of surgery. I can still walk, but not for very long. It looks fine first thing in the morning, but after moving around by afternoon it's swollen back up again.

I'm sick of ice.

I'm sick of heating pads.

I'm sick of that cane.

I'm sick of those crutches.

I'm sick of my couch.

But I suppose that things could be a lot worse.

So Happy Thanksgiving everyone. May you enjoy the comfort of family this holiday and stuff yourselves silly with turkey!

Welcome to my brain. Try not to be afraid.

Scientists say that the Universe is infinite.
Scientists also say that the Universe is expanding.
If the Universe is truly infinite then how can it be expanding?

Why is it called a "Doughnut"?
Okay, it's made with dough, but where's the nut?
And how exactly can you eat a "Doughnut Hole"?

Why were there "Holy Wars"?
If murder is a sin, then why would you kill in the name of God?

If women don't want to be viewed as sex objects why are cosmetics, diet pills, breast implants, push-up bras, plastic surgery, high heels, corsets, mini skirts, tube tops, nylons and hair dye such big business? And what about all those "articles" in womens' magazines about how to "Spice Up Your Sex Life"? Not to mention the fact that there is a waiting list 1,000 miles long of women who want to pose for "Playboy".

Is it the same person? Or triplets separated at birth?

This is Colm Meaney.

He played Engineer "Miles O'Brian" on "Star Trek: the Next Generation" and "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine".

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This is John C. Reilly.

He is probably best known for his roles in "Chicago", "The Dewey Cox Story" and opposite Will Ferrell in "Step Brothers".

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

...and this, God help us all, is Susan Boyle from "Britain's Got Talent".

Does anyone else notice anything, uhh, familiar???

Zurm.

Shiz nizzle whatsit flurm.

Bogdanny fliznit joogamahits flub-jub.

Skizzle blatwad Pia Zadora

Misz blankwad frahizzle???

Bleeg.

Am I back in Germany???

I'm sitting here on my couch.

Leg propped up, pain medication and heating pad administered.

What the fuck?

My life, as I knew it, was just starting to get back on track.

Things were finally returning to some sense of "normality".

...and then this.

Is it a new injury?

Or is it from the Arthroscopic knee surgery I had in Germany back in 1996?

X-rays were taken.

I doubt...EXTREMELY...that they will show anything.

I've been through this before.

Soft tissue damage.

It doesn't show up on an X-ray.

I know that.

Basically, probably, hopefully not, but more than likely I'm fucked.

And there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do about it.

I've been here before.

Unfortunately.

I can barely walk.

I can barely stand.

It might as well be a 10 mile hike just to get to the bathroom.

This is nothing new to me.

Like I said, I've been here before.

Halfway across the world...but I've been here before.

But does this mean, once this passes, that I will, more than likely, spend the rest of my life hobbling about like some old, feeble, handicapped person?

Something is telling me yes.

Me.

I used to dance.

REALLY dance.

Ballet.

Jazz.

Tap.

Modern.

I can't even get to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich.

Fuck you world.

Fuck you.

No.

I

FUCKING

MEAN

IT.

FOOUH

UHHK

EYOO

OOUU!!!

After everything I've been through in the past year, YOU THROW THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT IN MY FACE???

"From Hells heart, I stab at thee."

"For hates' sake, I spit my last breath at thee."

When did the world go completely insane?

When I was little, people had jobs. They went to work everyday and did whatever it was that they did to bring home a paycheck.

It was what it was.

Not anymore.

When I was little, we had "Garbagemen". They rolled up to your house in a big, blue truck and took your garbage away to the dump.

Not anymore.

The job hasn't changed, but now they want you to call them "Sanitary Servicemen".

When I was little, we had "Secretaries". They worked in an office. They typed up memos. They filed paperwork.

Not anymore.

The job hasn't changed, but now they want you to call them "Personal Assistants".

I recently went on a shopping trip to Target. On my way out to the car, bags in hand, a guy rolls by me on one of those "Segues". He's wearing a neon yellow vest. Emblazoned across the back in capital letters is his job title..."ASSETS PROTECTION".

Are you serious?

You're a minimum wage security guard in a Target parking lot.

What is wrong with having the job you have? Obviously, you must think that SOMETHING is wrong. Giving your job a more "important" title changes nothing.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Last night I went to Safeway to do some grocery shopping. Right inside, near the entrance, there is a large wall covered with shelves. It's usually filled with "seasonal" items.

For weeks, the shelves have been lined with Jack-O-Lanterns and witches. Haunted houses and ghosts. Black cats and tombstones. Scary Halloween stuff.

Not anymore.

Now more than half of the Halloween decor has been taken down. In it's place are reindeer, snowflakes, sleighbells and figurines of Santa Claus.

Seriously?

Halloween is still 2 weeks away and you're already taking it off the shelves and packing it away to make room for Christmas decorations??? It's OCTOBER!!! Christmas is more than TWO MONTHS AWAY!!!

So somebody please tell me, when did the world go completely insane?

Eeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!

Wishing you a SPOOOOKY Halloween!!!

'Twas beauty killed the beast

I just finished, once again, watching "King Kong".

I've seen it maybe 50 times over my lifetime.

The original 1930's version.

The 1970's version with Jeff Bridges and "Dwan". Really bad acting abounds.

...and the newest, CGI, slick graphics, tricked out version.

I think I understand the intent of the storyline now.

The metaphor of a huge, enormously powerful beast, capable of so much anger and destruction and yet equally as much caring and love.

Fighting to the end and ultimately giving his life for what he holds precious...a beautiful woman who understands him and communicates with him like no one else can.

I think you have to be a man to truly understand the intent.

It only took me a lifetime to figure out.

But just who is the "beauty"? The attractive, blonde starlet...or the 80 foot, monstrous gorilla with a heart of gold?

It truly is in the eye of the beholder.