The Way I See It #9

The city planners manage to slip yet another one past the approval board...

Super-size me

Earlier I posted on how America has become the Land of the free ride, home of the slovenly. In case you needed further proof, the standard sizes for child safety seats is being reviewed. Our fat children don't fit in them anymore. Below are some excerpts from an article in the Los Angeles Times:

"A 2004 study found that it would be tough or impossible to find an appropriate child safety seat for more than 283,000 of U.S. children ages 1 to 6 because of the combination of their age and weight.

"Many parents leave their heavy children in seats in which they exceed the maximum weight. What we know about car seat testing is that the seats are not tested above the weight ranges."

It's anybody's guess, she says, how well a seat would protect a child who is too heavy.

She acknowledges that the ultimate solution is to address the childhood obesity problem.

Since the completion of her study, two new car seats for heavier children have been introduced."

The next "Wonder Woman"?

Joss Whedon, creator of the forgetful TV series "Firefly", and it's doomed spinoff film "Serenity", is currently working on the script for a new, big screen production of "Wonder Woman" and hopes to go into production by the end of the year. While in my opinion no one can ever replace Linda Carter as the lasso-wielding supervixen (see photo above), several names are being tossed around...

1) Charlize Theron: If her recent attempt in "Aeon Flux" is any indication, she's no action hero.

2) Kate Bosworth: She just wrapped up filming on the new "Superman" movie. You're not allowed to play Lois Lane AND Wonder Woman.

3) Catherine Zeta Jones: While she does have the curves and the exotic look, aren't we sick of her already?

4) Rebecca Romijn: Mystique, yes. Wonder Woman, no.

5) Natalie Portman: Don't you have to have boobs to play Wonder Woman?

6) Jennifer Love Hewitt: She definitely has the boobs thing down, but can you imagine this frail little girl kicking butt?

7) Ashley Judd: Again, too girly to kick butt.

8) Lucy Lawless: Tall, buxom, and as we all know from her days on "Xena", she knows how to fight. She would have been my first choice...15 years ago.

9) Lindsey Lohan: There's not enough space on this blog to discuss how many reasons this would be wrong.

10) Beyonce Knowles: Please. Dear God. No.

The Way I See It #8

Ah, just what the doctor ordered at Mardi Gras:




Which of course is closely followed by:

E.T. needs to get a life

No, I'm not talking about the cute, bald alien with the glowing digit from Steven Spielberg's classic blockbuster, I'm talking about "Entertainment Tonight". Just one of the many annoying celebrity stalking paparazzi programs that seem to always be on TV.

"Angelina Jolie was spotted in Paris today shopping for clothes for the baby Pitt. We have an exclusive look at some of the baby clothes she may have purchased." Okay, I don't care what she actually did purchase, much less what she may have purchased. Nor do I care what Brad Pitt ate for lunch while she was out shopping.

But the thing that drives bamboo chutes under my fingernails is the cutesy-pie, sugar-coated nicknames they give to celebrity couples by combining each of their names. You know what I'm talking about, "Brangelina", "Bennifer", "Vaughniston", "Tomkat"...and as though that wasn't bad enough, now that Katie Holmes has given birth, they are referring to the baby as the "Tomkitten".

Excuse me while I go barf.