Wait, what was the name of that town back there?
Friday, November 16, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Puerto Vallarta
For my birthday, I was treated to an extra special trip to Puerto Vallarta. We had a great time, drank a lot of tequila (Don Julio Reposado was my favorite), and I even partook of a local "authentic" dish...cricket tacos. It rained (heavily) for the first several days...like hurricane size rain. A cab we took home one night was filled with about 6 inches of water. Another night were locked out of our condo and had to scale down a cliff (in flip-flops), past the prickly vines, snakes & tarantulas, hurdle over a spiked wall, and sneak in through the back door. Well, someone must have seen us, because the next morning the back door was padlocked shut. So now we were locked IN the condo with no way out.
But one of my favorite memories has to be my birthday. We went to "Daquiri Dick's" right on the beach. Granted you couldn't see the beach through the maelstrom. I had a large red snapper, served still on the spit (yummy!). A strolling musician surprised me with a Spanish version of "Happy Birthday" and the waiters presented me with this cake...
But one of my favorite memories has to be my birthday. We went to "Daquiri Dick's" right on the beach. Granted you couldn't see the beach through the maelstrom. I had a large red snapper, served still on the spit (yummy!). A strolling musician surprised me with a Spanish version of "Happy Birthday" and the waiters presented me with this cake...
Gee, it looks so nice...except my name's not "Cris"...
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Hey 2007, can you go away now???
On Labor Day weekend, I woke to find a note on the front door of my apartment saying that I had 30 days to vacate the premises. Not just me, but the whole complex. 30 days? So I spend the next week running around town trying to scrounge up a new place to live before all the other thousand people who are also displaced grab them up. I finally settle on one, very nice and spacious, but a little more money than I was planning on spending. I have to come up with the down payment by Sept. 23rd. Total cost? $1,770.00. And that doesn’t include the moving truck rental.
The next week, I notice that every time I pull up to a stoplight, my car idles really low and starts to buck, like it's ready to stall. It also does the same thing when backing out of a parking space. It just had an oil change, so I decide to take it in for a tune up. They replace the spark plugs and cables, and find that an intake hose has become disconnected. I also want to get the cabin's air filter replaced because for the past several months, whenever I turn on the AC, it smells like a wet cat. Total cost? $300.00.
Last week, I went to an audition for a show here in town. I was cut right off the bat. Already mildly pissed, I get into my car and start to drive off, but there’s a “ka-chunk, ka-chunk” feeling as I drive down the road. So I get out and inspect the tires and, lo and behold, there’s a 2-inch screw sticking out of the front right tire. So there I am on the side of the road in my dress slacks and shirt, polished shoes, changing my spare tire in 108 degree heat.
The next day, I go down to a tire repair shop to get the flat repaired. The guy behind the counter comes around the front to check and, lo and behold, the flat’s treads are too low for them to repair it. I’m going to have to buy a new tire. Not only that, but when they check the other 3 tires, 2 are running low on tread and showing signs of dry rot. I decide the best thing is just to replace all 4. Total cost? $311.00.
Last night on my way home, it looks as though my front left headlight has burned out. And there’s a cop directly behind me. As I’m trying to figure out how not to get pulled over for a burnt out headlight I (evidently) run a red light. Siren! Shit. So I pull over. I get a ticket for $300.00 for the red light. But that’s not all. Turns out the “proof of insurance” paperwork I have in the car expired at midnight…and it’s now 3:40 a.m. So I get a ticket for $640.00 for being off by 3 hours and 40 minutes. Total ticket cost? $940.00.
This morning, on my way to pick up a new bulb for my headlight, I see that my gas is on empty, so I stop at the station and fill up with the last of my cash. I get to Auto Zone, find the bulb, and bring it to the counter. I swipe my debit card and?…denied. And I don’t have any more cash to buy the bulb, I spent all of it on gas. So I leave the bulb behind, run home, go to my bank's website, and find out that my Visa payment has been denied by my bank, because I didn't take into account the $311.00 I had just spent on new tires, making my checking account overdrawn. This causes a chain reaction of 3 more transactions to bounce. Pile on the fees. Total cost? $140.00 in overdraft charges. Not including the bounced Visa payment, which still has to be paid.
This has all happened in the past 16 days.
And if that wasn’t enough, in 2 weeks I turn 40.
What the fuck?
The next week, I notice that every time I pull up to a stoplight, my car idles really low and starts to buck, like it's ready to stall. It also does the same thing when backing out of a parking space. It just had an oil change, so I decide to take it in for a tune up. They replace the spark plugs and cables, and find that an intake hose has become disconnected. I also want to get the cabin's air filter replaced because for the past several months, whenever I turn on the AC, it smells like a wet cat. Total cost? $300.00.
Last week, I went to an audition for a show here in town. I was cut right off the bat. Already mildly pissed, I get into my car and start to drive off, but there’s a “ka-chunk, ka-chunk” feeling as I drive down the road. So I get out and inspect the tires and, lo and behold, there’s a 2-inch screw sticking out of the front right tire. So there I am on the side of the road in my dress slacks and shirt, polished shoes, changing my spare tire in 108 degree heat.
The next day, I go down to a tire repair shop to get the flat repaired. The guy behind the counter comes around the front to check and, lo and behold, the flat’s treads are too low for them to repair it. I’m going to have to buy a new tire. Not only that, but when they check the other 3 tires, 2 are running low on tread and showing signs of dry rot. I decide the best thing is just to replace all 4. Total cost? $311.00.
Last night on my way home, it looks as though my front left headlight has burned out. And there’s a cop directly behind me. As I’m trying to figure out how not to get pulled over for a burnt out headlight I (evidently) run a red light. Siren! Shit. So I pull over. I get a ticket for $300.00 for the red light. But that’s not all. Turns out the “proof of insurance” paperwork I have in the car expired at midnight…and it’s now 3:40 a.m. So I get a ticket for $640.00 for being off by 3 hours and 40 minutes. Total ticket cost? $940.00.
This morning, on my way to pick up a new bulb for my headlight, I see that my gas is on empty, so I stop at the station and fill up with the last of my cash. I get to Auto Zone, find the bulb, and bring it to the counter. I swipe my debit card and?…denied. And I don’t have any more cash to buy the bulb, I spent all of it on gas. So I leave the bulb behind, run home, go to my bank's website, and find out that my Visa payment has been denied by my bank, because I didn't take into account the $311.00 I had just spent on new tires, making my checking account overdrawn. This causes a chain reaction of 3 more transactions to bounce. Pile on the fees. Total cost? $140.00 in overdraft charges. Not including the bounced Visa payment, which still has to be paid.
This has all happened in the past 16 days.
And if that wasn’t enough, in 2 weeks I turn 40.
What the fuck?
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Survival of the Dumbest
The human race is killing our planet. It's not a new thought, but it bears repeating. We simply don't seem to be able to control our urge to populate...and we dread the thought of death. We will keep ourselves alive, at any cost. Modern medicine is a multi-billion dollar industry in the United States alone.
Evolution has brought about one undeniable fact. The Earth can only be home to so many of each species. Over the millennia, species have evolved, thrived and died out, making way for new species. The evolution of man has completely unraveled what Mother Nature has been doing for millions of years.
Has anyone ever heard of the dinosaurs?
Way back when, the mentally and physically handicapped would have perished at childhood. The blind and deaf would not have lived long enough to grow up and give birth to yet another generation of blind and deaf. Children with autism, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder would have been outcasts, if they survived at all.
Women have always out-populated men on the global scale. But now, with the advances of modern medicine, some countries are seeing as much as a 10 to 1 ratio of women to men. Why? Because in the past, a large percentage of the female population died in childbirth.
Then, of course, there are the “extremists”. You know, the people who put their lives at risk all for a cheap thrill? The “X Games”, "Jackass" or Nascar. I don’t understand why it becomes such a “tragedy” when one of these losers actually bites it. I’m sorry, but if you’re dumb enough to try it, then I’m willing to call it “population control”.
Terrorists, mass murderers and arsonists are all protected by our “laws”. Yet, in some strange way, I feel that these people are a by-product of man's inability to keep the population at a reasonable percentage of the Earth‘s ability to provide. They are some wacky spin-off of evolution, trying to keep the herd from becoming too much of a burden on the ecosystem. Not that they deserve my pity. But how many times have you heard of a pig killing another pig? Or a dolphin killing another dolphin? Yet these two species are presumed to be closest in mental capacity to humans.
People didn’t used to live to be 100. Plagues killed millions. And I haven’t even touched on the idea that war itself may be a subconscious human catalyst to thin the herd.
Call me insensitive if you must, but think about it.
Evolution has brought about one undeniable fact. The Earth can only be home to so many of each species. Over the millennia, species have evolved, thrived and died out, making way for new species. The evolution of man has completely unraveled what Mother Nature has been doing for millions of years.
Has anyone ever heard of the dinosaurs?
Way back when, the mentally and physically handicapped would have perished at childhood. The blind and deaf would not have lived long enough to grow up and give birth to yet another generation of blind and deaf. Children with autism, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder would have been outcasts, if they survived at all.
Women have always out-populated men on the global scale. But now, with the advances of modern medicine, some countries are seeing as much as a 10 to 1 ratio of women to men. Why? Because in the past, a large percentage of the female population died in childbirth.
Then, of course, there are the “extremists”. You know, the people who put their lives at risk all for a cheap thrill? The “X Games”, "Jackass" or Nascar. I don’t understand why it becomes such a “tragedy” when one of these losers actually bites it. I’m sorry, but if you’re dumb enough to try it, then I’m willing to call it “population control”.
Terrorists, mass murderers and arsonists are all protected by our “laws”. Yet, in some strange way, I feel that these people are a by-product of man's inability to keep the population at a reasonable percentage of the Earth‘s ability to provide. They are some wacky spin-off of evolution, trying to keep the herd from becoming too much of a burden on the ecosystem. Not that they deserve my pity. But how many times have you heard of a pig killing another pig? Or a dolphin killing another dolphin? Yet these two species are presumed to be closest in mental capacity to humans.
People didn’t used to live to be 100. Plagues killed millions. And I haven’t even touched on the idea that war itself may be a subconscious human catalyst to thin the herd.
Call me insensitive if you must, but think about it.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Name of the game
O.K., it's no secret that I hate almost all rap and hip-hop music. It's beyond tasteless, and requires about as much talent as you acheive by the third grade. If you've got a beat-box, a Casio keyboard and a thesaurus you can be famous. And these "artists" are demi-gods in their own little world, covering themselves in "bling", living in huge mansions (oh, I'm sorry "cribs") that they decorate with cheesy crap, and drive around in expensive cars that the rest of us who actually work for a living could only dream of owning...and they own 10. If these people had any REAL talent I'd eat my words...but they don't. They are products of some mass-produced money machine, and most will live out their days as one-hit wonders at best. As if their "music" wasn't painful enough (See Missy Elliot's train-wreck "Get your freak on", where the same 3 notes are played continually...over, and over again throughout the entire song. Holla!) they have to subject us to the most ridiculous names...
Below is an actual advertisement I found for an upcoming "concert".
"Featuring Printz Board and Tim Izo Orindgreff. Guest artists apl.de.ap and Tabloo."
Seriously?
Below is an actual advertisement I found for an upcoming "concert".
"Featuring Printz Board and Tim Izo Orindgreff. Guest artists apl.de.ap and Tabloo."
Seriously?
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