Scientists say that the Universe is infinite.
Scientists also say that the Universe is expanding.
If the Universe is truly infinite then how can it be expanding?
Why is it called a "Doughnut"?
Okay, it's made with dough, but where's the nut?
And how exactly can you eat a "Doughnut Hole"?
Why were there "Holy Wars"?
If murder is a sin, then why would you kill in the name of God?
If women don't want to be viewed as sex objects why are cosmetics, diet pills, breast implants, push-up bras, plastic surgery, high heels, corsets, mini skirts, tube tops, nylons and hair dye such big business? And what about all those "articles" in womens' magazines about how to "Spice Up Your Sex Life"? Not to mention the fact that there is a waiting list 1,000 miles long of women who want to pose for "Playboy".
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Is it the same person? Or triplets separated at birth?
This is Colm Meaney.
He played Engineer "Miles O'Brian" on "Star Trek: the Next Generation" and "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This is John C. Reilly.
He is probably best known for his roles in "Chicago", "The Dewey Cox Story" and opposite Will Ferrell in "Step Brothers".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
...and this, God help us all, is Susan Boyle from "Britain's Got Talent".
Does anyone else notice anything, uhh, familiar???Thursday, October 22, 2009
Am I back in Germany???
I'm sitting here on my couch.
Leg propped up, pain medication and heating pad administered.
What the fuck?
My life, as I knew it, was just starting to get back on track.
Things were finally returning to some sense of "normality".
...and then this.
Is it a new injury?
Or is it from the Arthroscopic knee surgery I had in Germany back in 1996?
X-rays were taken.
I doubt...EXTREMELY...that they will show anything.
I've been through this before.
Soft tissue damage.
It doesn't show up on an X-ray.
I know that.
Basically, probably, hopefully not, but more than likely I'm fucked.
And there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do about it.
I've been here before.
Unfortunately.
I can barely walk.
I can barely stand.
It might as well be a 10 mile hike just to get to the bathroom.
This is nothing new to me.
Like I said, I've been here before.
Halfway across the world...but I've been here before.
But does this mean, once this passes, that I will, more than likely, spend the rest of my life hobbling about like some old, feeble, handicapped person?
Something is telling me yes.
Me.
I used to dance.
REALLY dance.
Ballet.
Jazz.
Tap.
Modern.
I can't even get to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich.
Fuck you world.
Fuck you.
No.
I
FUCKING
MEAN
IT.
FOOUH
UHHK
EYOO
OOUU!!!
After everything I've been through in the past year, YOU THROW THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT IN MY FACE???
"From Hells heart, I stab at thee."
"For hates' sake, I spit my last breath at thee."
Leg propped up, pain medication and heating pad administered.
What the fuck?
My life, as I knew it, was just starting to get back on track.
Things were finally returning to some sense of "normality".
...and then this.
Is it a new injury?
Or is it from the Arthroscopic knee surgery I had in Germany back in 1996?
X-rays were taken.
I doubt...EXTREMELY...that they will show anything.
I've been through this before.
Soft tissue damage.
It doesn't show up on an X-ray.
I know that.
Basically, probably, hopefully not, but more than likely I'm fucked.
And there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do about it.
I've been here before.
Unfortunately.
I can barely walk.
I can barely stand.
It might as well be a 10 mile hike just to get to the bathroom.
This is nothing new to me.
Like I said, I've been here before.
Halfway across the world...but I've been here before.
But does this mean, once this passes, that I will, more than likely, spend the rest of my life hobbling about like some old, feeble, handicapped person?
Something is telling me yes.
Me.
I used to dance.
REALLY dance.
Ballet.
Jazz.
Tap.
Modern.
I can't even get to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich.
Fuck you world.
Fuck you.
No.
I
FUCKING
MEAN
IT.
FOOUH
UHHK
EYOO
OOUU!!!
After everything I've been through in the past year, YOU THROW THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT IN MY FACE???
"From Hells heart, I stab at thee."
"For hates' sake, I spit my last breath at thee."
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
When did the world go completely insane?
When I was little, people had jobs. They went to work everyday and did whatever it was that they did to bring home a paycheck.
It was what it was.
Not anymore.
When I was little, we had "Garbagemen". They rolled up to your house in a big, blue truck and took your garbage away to the dump.
Not anymore.
The job hasn't changed, but now they want you to call them "Sanitary Servicemen".
When I was little, we had "Secretaries". They worked in an office. They typed up memos. They filed paperwork.
Not anymore.
The job hasn't changed, but now they want you to call them "Personal Assistants".
I recently went on a shopping trip to Target. On my way out to the car, bags in hand, a guy rolls by me on one of those "Segues". He's wearing a neon yellow vest. Emblazoned across the back in capital letters is his job title..."ASSETS PROTECTION".
Are you serious?
You're a minimum wage security guard in a Target parking lot.
What is wrong with having the job you have? Obviously, you must think that SOMETHING is wrong. Giving your job a more "important" title changes nothing.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Last night I went to Safeway to do some grocery shopping. Right inside, near the entrance, there is a large wall covered with shelves. It's usually filled with "seasonal" items.
For weeks, the shelves have been lined with Jack-O-Lanterns and witches. Haunted houses and ghosts. Black cats and tombstones. Scary Halloween stuff.
Not anymore.
Now more than half of the Halloween decor has been taken down. In it's place are reindeer, snowflakes, sleighbells and figurines of Santa Claus.
Seriously?
Halloween is still 2 weeks away and you're already taking it off the shelves and packing it away to make room for Christmas decorations??? It's OCTOBER!!! Christmas is more than TWO MONTHS AWAY!!!
So somebody please tell me, when did the world go completely insane?
It was what it was.
Not anymore.
When I was little, we had "Garbagemen". They rolled up to your house in a big, blue truck and took your garbage away to the dump.
Not anymore.
The job hasn't changed, but now they want you to call them "Sanitary Servicemen".
When I was little, we had "Secretaries". They worked in an office. They typed up memos. They filed paperwork.
Not anymore.
The job hasn't changed, but now they want you to call them "Personal Assistants".
I recently went on a shopping trip to Target. On my way out to the car, bags in hand, a guy rolls by me on one of those "Segues". He's wearing a neon yellow vest. Emblazoned across the back in capital letters is his job title..."ASSETS PROTECTION".
Are you serious?
You're a minimum wage security guard in a Target parking lot.
What is wrong with having the job you have? Obviously, you must think that SOMETHING is wrong. Giving your job a more "important" title changes nothing.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Last night I went to Safeway to do some grocery shopping. Right inside, near the entrance, there is a large wall covered with shelves. It's usually filled with "seasonal" items.
For weeks, the shelves have been lined with Jack-O-Lanterns and witches. Haunted houses and ghosts. Black cats and tombstones. Scary Halloween stuff.
Not anymore.
Now more than half of the Halloween decor has been taken down. In it's place are reindeer, snowflakes, sleighbells and figurines of Santa Claus.
Seriously?
Halloween is still 2 weeks away and you're already taking it off the shelves and packing it away to make room for Christmas decorations??? It's OCTOBER!!! Christmas is more than TWO MONTHS AWAY!!!
So somebody please tell me, when did the world go completely insane?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
'Twas beauty killed the beast
I just finished, once again, watching "King Kong".
I've seen it maybe 50 times over my lifetime.
The original 1930's version.
The 1970's version with Jeff Bridges and "Dwan". Really bad acting abounds.
...and the newest, CGI, slick graphics, tricked out version.
I think I understand the intent of the storyline now.
The metaphor of a huge, enormously powerful beast, capable of so much anger and destruction and yet equally as much caring and love.
Fighting to the end and ultimately giving his life for what he holds precious...a beautiful woman who understands him and communicates with him like no one else can.
I think you have to be a man to truly understand the intent.
It only took me a lifetime to figure out.
But just who is the "beauty"? The attractive, blonde starlet...or the 80 foot, monstrous gorilla with a heart of gold?
It truly is in the eye of the beholder.
I've seen it maybe 50 times over my lifetime.
The original 1930's version.
The 1970's version with Jeff Bridges and "Dwan". Really bad acting abounds.
...and the newest, CGI, slick graphics, tricked out version.
I think I understand the intent of the storyline now.
The metaphor of a huge, enormously powerful beast, capable of so much anger and destruction and yet equally as much caring and love.
Fighting to the end and ultimately giving his life for what he holds precious...a beautiful woman who understands him and communicates with him like no one else can.
I think you have to be a man to truly understand the intent.
It only took me a lifetime to figure out.
But just who is the "beauty"? The attractive, blonde starlet...or the 80 foot, monstrous gorilla with a heart of gold?
It truly is in the eye of the beholder.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Black dang the corn swazzlin' ferd...
Jumbo neolithic kindred flip-flops conjoin tinsel makeshift monolithic avatars bestowing irregularity. Saskatchewan beholds fascist fuscia periodontal misfits. The Gregorian montage subsides eloquently beneath.
"Panorama!" Constellation, triumphantly beholding rectangular virtuosity, amends encompassing cardboard.
"Makeshift exoskeleton tyrannical purple! Rhubarb flatulence regards mightily!"
Spherical protruding autumn exudes prehistoric diversity.
Operatic sincerity hilarium.
Fortress pleasantry denied.
"Panorama!" Constellation, triumphantly beholding rectangular virtuosity, amends encompassing cardboard.
"Makeshift exoskeleton tyrannical purple! Rhubarb flatulence regards mightily!"
Spherical protruding autumn exudes prehistoric diversity.
Operatic sincerity hilarium.
Fortress pleasantry denied.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Dating In The Year 2009
In an effort to get myself "back out there", as in attempt to date again, I have posted profiles on several different "dating" websites.
These things are a compulsive liars paradise.
Women regail you with stories of how much they like to jet-ski or parachute or hang glide. They love to travel to exotic locations and spend their summers in Fiji. They have amazing lives filled with culture and color. They are deeply spiritual. They are wise beyond their years.
Their stories aren't just "seasoned", they're outright fictional.
If that wasn't bad enough, they are also apparently delusional about their appearance.
Case in point.
I get an e-mail from this woman saying "Hi cutie!". She claims in her bio that her body type is, and I quote, "Average".....
On what PLANET and in what REALITY are you considered average?????
Oh wait, I get it...the person she just ATE was average.
Do these people have funhouse mirrors in their bedrooms? Because I sure as hell ain't seeing an "average" sized woman here...
I see Shamu.
These things are a compulsive liars paradise.
Women regail you with stories of how much they like to jet-ski or parachute or hang glide. They love to travel to exotic locations and spend their summers in Fiji. They have amazing lives filled with culture and color. They are deeply spiritual. They are wise beyond their years.
Their stories aren't just "seasoned", they're outright fictional.
If that wasn't bad enough, they are also apparently delusional about their appearance.
Case in point.
I get an e-mail from this woman saying "Hi cutie!". She claims in her bio that her body type is, and I quote, "Average".....
On what PLANET and in what REALITY are you considered average?????
Oh wait, I get it...the person she just ATE was average.
Do these people have funhouse mirrors in their bedrooms? Because I sure as hell ain't seeing an "average" sized woman here...
I see Shamu.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
I just got home from yet another 14 1/2 hour workday. I'm exhausted, but I was "entertained".
I have worked in the hotel industry for many, many years, but never before have I experienced a day quite like today.
We had three large group functions taking place at the hotel, all at the same time...
GROUP #1: A young black girls "Sweet 16" birthday party. There wasn't a White, Hispanic or Asian person in sight. All baggy pants, sideways baseball caps, "bling" and ATTITUDE. Throw in a DJ whose playlist all sounds exactly the same.
GROUP #2: The annual ball for "The River City Gems". A group of about 100 middle-aged, blue collar, cross-dressing men and their "dates". Not a single pair of pants in the room. More ball gowns, hoop skirts, "Scarlet O'Hara" wigs and falsies than "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert".
GROUP #3: "Little People of America". Pretty self-explanatory. Would you believe that a gathering of midgets was the most "normal" group?
Nobody can ever say I don't experience "diversity" at the workplace.
I have worked in the hotel industry for many, many years, but never before have I experienced a day quite like today.
We had three large group functions taking place at the hotel, all at the same time...
GROUP #1: A young black girls "Sweet 16" birthday party. There wasn't a White, Hispanic or Asian person in sight. All baggy pants, sideways baseball caps, "bling" and ATTITUDE. Throw in a DJ whose playlist all sounds exactly the same.
GROUP #2: The annual ball for "The River City Gems". A group of about 100 middle-aged, blue collar, cross-dressing men and their "dates". Not a single pair of pants in the room. More ball gowns, hoop skirts, "Scarlet O'Hara" wigs and falsies than "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert".
GROUP #3: "Little People of America". Pretty self-explanatory. Would you believe that a gathering of midgets was the most "normal" group?
Nobody can ever say I don't experience "diversity" at the workplace.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Halloween is coming...
Autumn is here
A gentle, light breeze
Temperature changes
The colors of trees
Goodbye lemonade
Hello hot cider
Stores filled with pumpkins
The colors of trees
Goodbye lemonade
Hello hot cider
Stores filled with pumpkins
My eyes growing W I D E R
What should I wear?
What would be cool?
Perhaps a SCARY monster
With lots of drool!
Halloween is coming!
It calls out my name
For without this day
Fall wouldn't be the same
Ghost or goblin?
Witch or vampire?
The kid in us all
Loves a head on a spire!
What should I wear?
What would be cool?
Perhaps a SCARY monster
With lots of drool!
Halloween is coming!
It calls out my name
For without this day
Fall wouldn't be the same
Ghost or goblin?
Witch or vampire?
The kid in us all
Loves a head on a spire!
Drive past the graveyard
Ghouls whisper at night
"Happy Haunting to all,
and to all a good FRIGHT!!!"
Ghouls whisper at night
"Happy Haunting to all,
and to all a good FRIGHT!!!"
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