A typical day answering the phones while working at the front desk...

- "Is this the Red Lion Hotel?". This is right after I've just answered the phone saying "Good morning, Red Lion Hotel".

- "How close are you to Disneyland?" Uh, about 500 miles or so.

- "Do you know what time it is?" Look at the bedside clock right next to the phone.

- "My granddaughter just peed all over the bed".

- "Do you know what the temperture is?". If you stick your head out your front door I'm sure you'll find out. Me? I'm in the air-conditioned lobby.

- How much are the tickets to "fill-in-the-blank"?

- "Can we get more towels?"

- "Can we get more towels?"

- "CAN WE GET MORE TOWELS???" Listen people, for the last time, the little button you just pushed on the phone says "Front Desk" not "Housekeeping".

- "This is room 125. We were just moved to this room because we didn't like the way the air-conditioning worked in room 451. We were moved to room 451 because the water pressure in room 104 was too low. We were moved to room 104 because there was a stain on the carpet in room 503. We were moved to room 503 because we didn't like the curtains in room 175. We were moved to room 175 because it was too far away from where we parked the car. Now we want to move from this room because we don't like the view."

- "Can you give me directions? I'm on highway whatchamahoozit just passing thingamajig street...there's a purple billboard...and a crow."

- "I heard about this local garage band that's going to play in your lounge there. I don't know their name. I don't know what day they are playing. Can you tell me more about that?"

- "This is the Southwest Airlines crew. I don't know our in-bound flight number. Can you come pick us up?"

- "Is this the DoubleTree Hotel?" Again, this is right after I've just answered the phone saying "Good morning, Red Lion Hotel".

So...

I just got back from a date.

My first since Zina, the warrior princess, destroyer of lives decided to leave me.

It may very well may be my LAST date.

I met her on "Craig's List". I had placed an ad looking for, well, ANYTHING. I haven't even attempted to date since her highness packed up and left me with a pile of shit almost a year-and-a-half ago. Why would I WANT to do that to myself again?

It appears that my gut instinct was right...I should have listened.

First of all, this girl appears to have been named after a tree...you know, like "Sequioa" or "Magnolia".

Clue #1.

She shows up at my front door wearing flip-flops and an ill-fitted mumu. She's about 30 pounds heavier than her online photo and in THAT she was heavy. She's only about 5'2".

We get into her car, a Suburban that hasn't been washed or cleaned in, oh, about 15 years or so, and head off to a local Chinese restaurant.

I'm thinking to myself, "Okay Scott, now you haven't done this in a while. Maybe it's not really as bad as it first seems. Give it a chance."

We drive to the restauarant, sit down and order.

Okay, this next part took me just a LITTLE off guard. Right off the bat, she starts to discuss her previous lovers. I know, faux pas numero uno. But wait, it gets worse...if that's possible. She eventually puts 2 and 2 together and realizes that someone she dated last year was...

...have you guessed it yet?

...wait for the trumpets.

My younger brother.

Jesus Christ.

You

have

GOT

to

be

freakin'

KIDDING!!!

Jesus F-ing Christ.

Somebody please shoot me.

This date has only been going on for 20 minutes and I already thought it was bad. But now you spring THIS shit on me?

She leans across the table to tell me that she has a "system". She keeps her first dates down to 30 minutes. She likes to keep the date short and makes it a point to tell me that she doesn't sleep with a guy until she's been dating him for at least a month.

Don't worry babe. That was the LAST thing I had in mind.

So...after this JOYOUS romp back into the dating scene again, somebody PLEASE tell me just ONE thing...

After Zina, the Wonder Mess, and how well all THAT all turned out, why...WHY...WHY would I ever want to date again???

Sometimes you just need to STOP. . . and "listen"

It's been such a long time

I think I should be goin'

Time doesn't wait for me

It keeps on rollin'

Sail on, on a distant highway

I've got to keep on chasin' a dream

I've got to be on my way

Wish there was something I could say

Well I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along

You'll forget about me after I've been gone

And I take what I find, I don't want no more

It's just outside of your front door

It's been such a long time

It's been such a LONG time

Well I get so lonely when I am without you

But in my mind, deep in my mind

I can't forget about you

Good times and faces that remind me

I'm tryin' to forget your name and leave it all behind me

Well I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along

You'll forget about me after I've been gone

And I take what I find, I don't want no more

It's just outside of your front door

It's been such a long time

It's been such a LONG time

It's been such a long time, I think I should be goin', yeah

And time doesn't wait for me, it keeps on rollin'

There's a long road, I gotta stay in time with

I've got to keep on chasin' that dream, though I may never find it

I'm always just behind it

Well I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along

Takin' my time, just movin' along

Takin' my time, yeah, I'm takin' my time...

Everyone gets their "Day In The Sun"...

...then we spend the rest of our lives trying to heal the sunburn.

My brother ROCKS THE HOUSE!!!

"Chicago Tribute Authority"

The Fountains, Rocklin, CA

June 6, 2009

I think I may have gotten a LITTLE carried away...

Now where am I going to put all my clothes???

I took Bikram class again this morning.

I've been taking class for a couple of weeks now after a 7 or 8 month break.

Somewhere around the 3rd pose I looked forward in the mirror.

Someone was staring back.

Me.

Welcome back, Scott.

Phase X

Every once in a while, I feel it's healthy to make a short "Life List", a summary of where you have been and what you have accomplished so far. When life gets you down, you can always look back, feel proud, and say "Yeah, I did that. I REALLY did that."

I haven't made one in a while, so here is the abbreviated version of my life thus far to share with all of you...

Phase I- Childhood through teens (Gumdrop Dr., Lincoln, Odd jobs).

Phase II- Start of career (Move to New York, "Kiss Me, Kate" national tour, "Fiddler on the Roof" national tour, "A Chorus Line" Atlantic City, "Starlight Express" Las Vegas).

Phase III- Hollywood.

Phase IV- "Starlight Express" Germany and "Fantasy" in South Korea.

Phase V- Las Vegas (version 2.0), "Star Trek" and "Jubilee".

Phase VI- "Starlight Express" tour.

Phase VII- New York Part II (Inwood).

Phase VIII- Las Vegas (version 3.0), Return to "Jubilee", Bevertainment at the Rio, slow decline to oblivion.

Phase VIIII- Admitted to St. Rose Hospital and slow recovery at Mom's house in Rocklin.

Welcome to Phase X.