Hey 2007, can you go away now???

On Labor Day weekend, I woke to find a note on the front door of my apartment saying that I had 30 days to vacate the premises. Not just me, but the whole complex. 30 days? So I spend the next week running around town trying to scrounge up a new place to live before all the other thousand people who are also displaced grab them up. I finally settle on one, very nice and spacious, but a little more money than I was planning on spending. I have to come up with the down payment by Sept. 23rd. Total cost? $1,770.00. And that doesn’t include the moving truck rental.

The next week, I notice that every time I pull up to a stoplight, my car idles really low and starts to buck, like it's ready to stall. It also does the same thing when backing out of a parking space. It just had an oil change, so I decide to take it in for a tune up. They replace the spark plugs and cables, and find that an intake hose has become disconnected. I also want to get the cabin's air filter replaced because for the past several months, whenever I turn on the AC, it smells like a wet cat. Total cost? $300.00.

Last week, I went to an audition for a show here in town. I was cut right off the bat. Already mildly pissed, I get into my car and start to drive off, but there’s a “ka-chunk, ka-chunk” feeling as I drive down the road. So I get out and inspect the tires and, lo and behold, there’s a 2-inch screw sticking out of the front right tire. So there I am on the side of the road in my dress slacks and shirt, polished shoes, changing my spare tire in 108 degree heat.

The next day, I go down to a tire repair shop to get the flat repaired. The guy behind the counter comes around the front to check and, lo and behold, the flat’s treads are too low for them to repair it. I’m going to have to buy a new tire. Not only that, but when they check the other 3 tires, 2 are running low on tread and showing signs of dry rot. I decide the best thing is just to replace all 4. Total cost? $311.00.

Last night on my way home, it looks as though my front left headlight has burned out. And there’s a cop directly behind me. As I’m trying to figure out how not to get pulled over for a burnt out headlight I (evidently) run a red light. Siren! Shit. So I pull over. I get a ticket for $300.00 for the red light. But that’s not all. Turns out the “proof of insurance” paperwork I have in the car expired at midnight…and it’s now 3:40 a.m. So I get a ticket for $640.00 for being off by 3 hours and 40 minutes. Total ticket cost? $940.00.

This morning, on my way to pick up a new bulb for my headlight, I see that my gas is on empty, so I stop at the station and fill up with the last of my cash. I get to Auto Zone, find the bulb, and bring it to the counter. I swipe my debit card and?…denied. And I don’t have any more cash to buy the bulb, I spent all of it on gas. So I leave the bulb behind, run home, go to my bank's website, and find out that my Visa payment has been denied by my bank, because I didn't take into account the $311.00 I had just spent on new tires, making my checking account overdrawn. This causes a chain reaction of 3 more transactions to bounce. Pile on the fees. Total cost? $140.00 in overdraft charges. Not including the bounced Visa payment, which still has to be paid.

This has all happened in the past 16 days.

And if that wasn’t enough, in 2 weeks I turn 40.

What the fuck?