For The Championship Of The World...

1. Double 1. Another 1.

"Great round, you sure cleared all the 1's."

"Whatever. Your turn, you smug bastard." She headed back to the table and lay down her darts. She despised the way he always had to rub things in, he'd done it forever. Taking a sip of her drink, she watched her opponent head to the dart board. "You know it's only a matter of time until I beat you. You can't win all the time."

Triple 20. Triple 19. Triple 18.

Another perfect round. What is his secret anyway? "You cheat."

"I do not cheat," he said. "I simply let the darts find their way to their mark."

"Yeah, right." Now it was her turn. She stepped slowly up to the board. "You know, that's your problem, always has been. You're not a hands on enough kind of guy. You just let things slip by and before you know it...POOF!" She made a big gesture with her hands like a magician making something disappear. "Like I said, only a matter of time." She turned to the board…

3. 5. Another 1.

Lowering her head in disgust she headed back to the table, dreading the ribbing she was sure she was about to receive. As she sits down, her foe turns to her and says, "No, no, that was good. You had great form that time."

"Oh shut up. Even when you're trying to be nice you're still an ass." Drumming her red fingernails on the table, she watched her nemesis approach the board one more time. Of course, she knew what was to come next, she'd seen it too many times.

Triple 17. Triple 16. Triple 15.

"I don't believe this...luck favors the foolish, I guess," she tried lamely to save what was left of her bruised ego. She should be used to coming in second by now, but she hated it, she didn’t like to lose. She began to feel irritable. "What is with the thermostat in this place anyway? It’s not hot enough in here." Her opponent returned to the table and sat down. Looking her square in the eye he says, "You try too hard. It's throwing off your game. Just try to relax and will the dart where you want it to go."

"Easy for you to say," she said. "That's all you've ever done, will things to happen. Well I'm sorry, but life doesn't always work that way. Sometimes it takes sweat and determination to get things done." She took another sip of her drink, picked up her darts and headed back up to the board. "You know, that's what bugs me about you. At least I'm up front and honest about who I am and what I do. Everybody knows what my game is, just sign your name on the dotted line." The flames began to flicker behind her eyes. "But you sit up there on your throne with your 'holier than thou' attitude and make everybody guess what it is you want. Still, people worship you. They dedicate their entire lives to you. They fight wars and die in your name. And for what?"

Bulls-eye.

The Way I See It #6

The appropriately named truck for off-roading, redneck a**holes...

What's Your Temperment?

Here's how my reading came out:

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment. Boy if that don't hit the nail on the head...

What Temperment Are You?

The Way I See It #5

I'm all for creative landscaping, but what was this guy thinking?

You know you're a retard when...

We've all done it. Had one of those moments when you realize that something you'd thought since childhood is completely retarded. Nothing life altering or mind numbing, just something simple. Like an urban legend you'd heard as a child and taken as gospel, but now as an adult realize is completely ridiculous. Little things you don't think about often, but they pop back into your mind every once in a while. Case in point:

I always knew from looking at a map there was a city in Southern California named "La Jolla" (which I thought was pronounced "La Jo-la"). I had also heard of a city named "La Hoya". I always thought that these were 2 different cities. Now, I was raised in California which is the capital of Mexico, so I know that in Spanish "J" is pronounced "H" and that double L's are pronounced "Y", but for some reason never put 1 and 2 together. Not until last week when it finally dawned on me.

Like I said, nothing earth shattering, but you know you're a retard when...

50%

50 percent. What is it about this that drives me nuts? Because if given the choice between up or down, left or right, black or white, good or evil, I will invariably pick the wrong one. Always. A 1 in 2 chance. That means that anywhere in the world you will probably be right 1 out of every 2 times, 5 out of every 10, 50 out of every 100, you get the idea. Except in my world. When faced with 50% I know I'm doomed. No matter what I guess, it will be wrong. I've even tried the "reverse psychology" angle...pick whichever one you're SURE is wrong, because you're wrong so often that it has to be the right one...nope, still wrong. No matter what I do, 50% will haunt me for the rest of my days.