Goodbye 2005

As we approach the coming demise of 2005, I thought it would be a good time to look back upon my life and think about all the cool things I've been fortunate enough to experience. So here, in no particular order, is my:

Top 30 things I have done in my life

1) Celebrated Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras in New Orleans
2) Counted down to the New Year in German (drei, zwei, eins…)
3) Counted down to the New Year in Korean (set, dool, hanna…)
4) Partied on Beale Street in Memphis
5) Visited the Red Light district in Amsterdam
6) Marched in the Orange Bowl Parade
7) Watched the Christmas tree lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Center
8) Attended the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade in New York
9) Performed on stage in Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, Los Angeles, Seattle, Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Tampa, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, St. Louis, Orlando, Cleveland, Portland and Boston (and the list goes on…)
10) Performed at half-time at a 49’ers football game
11) Went to the top of the Empire State Building
12) Went to the top of Sears Tower
13) Went to the top of the St. Louis Arch
14) Went to the top of the Space Needle
15) Have lived in New York, Los Angeles, Atlantic City, Las Vegas, Germany and South Korea
16) Swam with Manatees
17) Took part in the New York City Halloween Parade
18) Visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland
19) Went to the Grand Canyon
20) Attended Paul Simon’s Concert in Central Park
21) Visited the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials and went up in the Washington Monument
22) Dove on the kelp forests off the coast of Catalina Island
23) Toured the Mayflower and the Constitution
24) Toured Hearst Castle
25) Climbed the Statue of Liberty
26) Have been in all the U.S. states except Alaska
27) Surfed at Waikiki beach
28) Sang on Broadway (okay, it was karaoke, but still on Broadway)
29) Celebrated New Year’s Eve on the Strip in Las Vegas
30) Celebrated New Year’s Eve in Times Square

Christmas musi(ngs)c

Most major cities I know have some radio station that plays Christmas music 24 hours a day up to December 25th. If you have one, take a listen. It is surprising to me how un-inventive these musicians can get. I use the word musician loosely because we've all heard Debbie Gibson's "Sleigh Ride" or Madonna's rendition of "Santa Baby". But take a closer listen and you will hear a wide variety of songs from "Deck the Halls" to Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song" (also known as "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire") ending with the oh-so-familiar tagline of "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way". Is it really so hard to come up with something original? I guess if you're someone who hasn't had a hit in 20 years (see Michael McDonald's newest "artistic" disaster, or worse yet, Regis Philbin) releasing a Holiday album is an easy way to pay off your debts. I mean, you're pretty much guaranteed to get airplay (at least during December) for the next 100 years. But do you really have to subject the general public to this trash?

Finally, "I'll be home for Christmas" is a holiday song loved for generations. Yet nobody can seem to agree on the damn lyrics. "You can plan on me" is also sometimes heard as "you can count on me". But my pet peeve has got to be "Please have snow, and mistletoe, and presents on the tree". I've also heard "by the tree", "near the tree", "beneath the tree", "under the tree" and even "presents and a tree". So what the hell is it? According to one website I found: "As Christmas presents arrive, they are generally placed underneath the tree on the tree skirt (depending on tradition, all Christmas gifts, or those too large to be hung on the tree, as in "presents on the tree" of the song "White Christmas")." Well great, that doesn't help. Not only do they list proper etiquette as placing presents on the tree but also underneath. On top of that it's not from "White Christmas". And just what the hell is a "love light" anyway? As in "where the love light gleams". Is it a heart shaped neon sign? Maybe something like Neil Diamond's "heart light"? Christmas lyrics seem to have no rhyme or reason as long as the word "Christmas" is in there somewhere.

The Way I See It #4

The "no photo" issue:

- Ever notice that most of the girls who wear those tiny, hip hugger pants and crop t-shirts are WAY too overweight to pull it off? Who wants to see your rolls hanging out over the top of your jeans? You look like a sausage. What is it about fat chicks that makes them think they're soooo hot and their sh*t don't stink?

- Once and for all people, it's called "karaoke", not "rap-aoke". If all your going to do is speak the words to a song (and badly), get off the stage.

- What is the deal with those spam e-mails you get that end with a string of words like: bountiful adventure gleaming comprehend doorknob silence?

- The English language is completely screwed up. We have exceptions to every rule and exceptions to those exceptions. "I before E except after C"...so how do you explain "foreign"? I have a personal pet peeve, say the following words out loud:

Fuses

Fusses

Buses

Wait a minute, why isn't that busses? How anyone learns to speak this crazy language astounds me.

- And finally, I was out walking the other day (without my camera), and sitting at a stop light was a taxi cab with an ad for "Jubilee" on the roof. It's a photo of a half-naked girl in a g-string covered in jewels. Then I notice the truck right behind it...and on the side of the truck in bright red letters all it says is "Schwing".

The Way I See It #3

Well, that's certainly the largest vibrator I've ever seen...

The Way I See It #2

No caption needed...

A personal message

There's a part of me that is very sad. Sad because someone who has been a part of my life for over 17 years is missing, and I don't know how to talk to them. Conversations have been limited in the past few years (by an outside source), but now they are non-existent. I recently celebrated a birthday, and this is the first year I can remember that I didn't get a "Happy Birthday" phone call. Worst of all, this person hasn't disappeared voluntarily. You know who you are...

I know that you are going through a tough time right now, but disconnecting yourself from the rest of the world is not going to help the matter. Especially if that seclusion is forced upon you by another person. I know you've got inner turmoil and a lot of mixed emotions right now, and as a friend I am worried about your mental state. I know that some people have a reason to be angry, in their place I might feel the same way, but shutting down and refusing any help or support is not a wise decision. I have known you for far too long to let you go through this alone. I'd like to hear how you're coping with this. I'd like to hear anything. I have no idea what I have to do with this, but if someone has a problem with me talking to you, they can call me themselves.

The Playoffs

Will someone please explain to me why sports fans are so obsessed with baseball statistics? Do we really care or need to know? What is an RBI anyway? It stands for "runs batted in". But the only way a player can get a "run batted in" is if the guy up to bat before him was good enough to get on base and can run fast. So why does HE get a better rating?

The Way I See It - 1st Edition

It seems everyone has some sort of recurring theme on their blog, "About Me" lists, quizzes, or "The Nine". Well, I believe I've finally come up with one that's more suited to me. I'm not much of a writer, but I do feel that I notice things around me from a unique perspective. Ordinary things, often humorous, that most people would just pass by and not even notice. Things that could only be expressed in a picture. As they say, it's worth a thousand words. So I bring you "The Way I See It". Feel free to add a caption of your own, it's more fun when it's interactive...




Well, what else would you do after Happy Hour?

Top 10 things that should never be said by a white guy

(10) Gittin' jiggy widdit (why this ever came into being I will never know)

(9) The shizzle-frazizzle (what the ???)

(8) What up? (is it really so hard to add an "s"?)

(7) You da bomb (not such a good thing to be after 9/11)

(6) My bitch (okay, sexist AND derogitory, no wonder she left you)

(5) Crunk Juice (there are no circumstances where anyone needs to say this)

(4) You go girl (either you're a black woman or you're gay)

(3) Bling-bling (I know, it's too hard to pronounce "jewelry")

(2) Fly (even Snoop Puppy Rapist sounds dumb saying this one)

(1) Where you at? (can you believe this is actually an advertising slogan?)

And why not? Because you'll never hear a black guy stupid enough to say:

- Git 'er done!

October 3rd

It's October 3rd. In 2 days it will once again be that day that comes but once a year...my birthday. Granted, I'm not really feeling old...yet. I'll be 38. Nothing special, but you're definetly not young anymore. Your laugh lines a bit more pronounced, and those "fine lines" around your eyes aren't so fine anymore. Some mornings it's a bit harder to get going. You notice your skin in general is just not as "elastic" as it once was and it's starting to sag a bit. Maybe even a few of those weird brown spots start to show up out of nowhere. You find yourself actually looking at the "anti-aging" and "nightly renewal" creams at Walgreen's. And you notice hair growing from all sorts of places hair should never be growing from. But you don't really feel old, you're just starting to look it. 38. What is that anyway? It's in-between nothing. You're not "30-ish" or even "almost 40". I guess most of your 30's are spent just creeping up to 40, but the closer you get, the more dull it becomes...

Bebti's Quiz II

Back by not-so-popular demand I bring you:

Bebti's Ancient Egypt Quiz: Part Deux

I've had some requests that I make it a little harder this time, so be careful what you ask for, you just might get it...

See how other people fared! Check out the Scoreboard!

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Well, it's the end of the first week of performances and in many ways it feels like I never left. Here I am with the rest of the male singers goofing around before the opening night curtain. Most of my show is the same as it was years ago, even down to the staging. It feels great to be in front of an audience again, and even better to be earning a paycheck.

I halfway broke down on the "no car" issue this week, only halfway because I purchased a moped. It's under 50cc's so there's no requirement for registration, insurance or even licensing, so basically all I have to do is put gas in the thing and it gets like 60 miles to a gallon. Just something simple to get me around to appointments and shopping...

Land of the Amazons

Only in my current job could I ever possibly be considered as short. I'm over 6 feet tall. In New York I was always on the tall side of the men auditioning, but here seems to be another story. I just got fitted for shoes with an extra lift in the heel (no light in the loafers jokes...you know who you are). Not only that but I'm also adding an extra 1/2 inch heel cushion for even more height. So I'll be about 6'3" in these shoes and I'll still be the shortest person in my line. What did I join, a basketball league?

Let the back spasms begin!

Hurricane Relief

I flip on the TV, I log on to the Internet, I walk down the street and everywhere there is talk about the relief effort for the people stranded by Hurricane Katrina. Everywhere. I lived and worked on the Mississippi Gulf coast for 3 months and it breaks my heart to see images of the destruction left in Katrina's wake. I want to feel bad. I'd like to help out. Show my support. Feel like I actually give a damn...but I don't.

9/11 was a similarly tragic day for this country. It happened. But we banded together. Supported each other. Became a unified voice. It was awe inspiring.

Everyone here seems to care and wants to help...everyone that is except the people who actually need it, especially in New Orleans. There is random violence happening everywhere. Pointless looting, not for food or water, but for TV's. Lawless streets where it's "every man for himself". Rival gangs fighting each other over turf which no longer exists. Women being raped. Children being abused. Corpses found that weren't killed by the flooding, but by a bullet. People being held at gunpoint in the Superdome. Gunshots being fired at rescue helicopters...

If they don't want to be rescued, I say let them rot.

Wait a minute, it's been HOW long?

So I went to my (yikes!) 20 year high school reunion this weekend. It was, well, interesting. Several of the people I went there to see, who had also e-mailed me recently about how nice it would be to catch up never showed. I ended up spending most of the night sitting with the class wallflower and an overacheiver from the class of '84 (they couldn't get it together themselves, so it was a "combined" reunion). I couldn't recognize anyone without their nametags. Everyone was at least 40 pounds heavier and working on their second marriage. I mistook one girl as the hotel manager because she looked about 50, then realized she was from my class. The school "hottie" looked anything but, and another girl was stumbling drunk when the party started. By 2 hours into it half the people had already left...I guess they just can't keep up in their old age. Then around 11:00 a group of "the guys" rolled in wearing trucker hats, t-shirts and ripped jeans. Mind you, this was a semi-formal event. I'm sure these guys probably still spend their weekends sitting on the school bleachers drinking beer and talking about the good old days. All in all, I'm glad I went, if I hadn't I would forever wonder what I missed, but I don't think I'll be making it to any more class reunions...

Around the world and back again...

Okay, so maybe it was just the nation...

After 2 weeks in Pasadena rehearsing my ass off for practically no reason, I told the producers I'd had enough of their B.S., packed up my bags (again), rented a car and drove up Highway 15 to where this whole mess began 2 1/2 years ago. The land of slot machines and prostitution. Okay, there's more redeeming qualities to Las Vegas than that...I think. I've set myself up in a great apartment with a fabulous view and am enjoying having all my stuff around me again. I've decided to forego buying a car at this point and instead I'm doing a lot of walking and taking the bus...and the monorail is up and running now too. It runs all the way from the MGM to the Sahara and stops practically across the street! I'll save a buttload on car insurance and gas. Heck, on gas alone! Have you seen the prices at the pump lately? I don't know how long it will be until I simply HAVE to buy one, but for now I'm actually enjoying not having the pain in the ass that a car can be. Practically every car I've owned broke down on a regular basis. The first car I bought died in less than 24 hours! Besides after living in New York I'm rather used to taking public transit...

Bebti's Quiz

Jumping on the quiz bandwagon I've designed one with a unique "Bebti" twist! See how many you can get right, but no fair looking them up!

Bebti's Ancient Egypt Quiz

after you're done Check out the Scoreboard!

So now what?

It was raining this morning as I left New York, my bedroom looking so sad and empty, my voice echoing off the walls. It was so overcast I couldn't get one last look at the skyline as I drove away. Getting to the airport and running around with my suitcases in tow was an oddly familiar feeling though, as though the tour had only closed yesterday. It seemed almost second nature to be homeless with my life packed up in a few bags.

Now I sit in a hotel room in Pasadena starting yet another new chapter in my life. How will this one begin? "It was a dark and stormy night", or will it be "It was a bright and sunny morning"? Unfortunately, I don't have any more answers now than I did a month ago. It's a waiting game at this point and I'm completely unsure whether I'll actually be offered a contract or not...and sadly I think that fact has taken a lot of the excitement out of this for me.

Intrepid

Continuing my sightseeing tour, here I am on the flight deck of the USS Intrepid. It's now a sea, air and space museum docked here in New York at Pier 86. Behind me is my favorite plane, the A-12 Blackbird. I've wanted to see one for years, but have never been able to get this close to one. You could actually touch it. There was a Harrier, an F-14 Tomcat, an F-16 Falcon and even a Russian Mig among many others. You also got to tour the command deck, crew quarters and the CIC. The hangar deck is now filled with exhibits from World War II up to the space program. Intrepid was one of the carriers that was sent out to retrieve the astronauts after splashdown. Parked next to the Intrepid you also got to tour a Concorde jet and the Growler, a U.S. submarine. Thinking it would only take an hour or two, I had also planned on taking a trip to Central Park. I ended up spending over 4 hours there...

Born in the U.S.A.

On the 4th of July, yes our nations birthday, there was a child in Inwood park drawing on the asphalt with some colored chalk. How cute, right? You know what this kid wrote? "I *heart* the Dominican Republic" with a drawing of the Dominican flag. Twice. On July 4th. This kid has most likely never even been to the Dominican Republic, but has learned that it's acceptable and even trendy to like any country other than America. It has become commonplace to blast the United States and claim to have ties to your "homeland". Odds are their "homeland" hasn't seen anyone from their family in generations...

You see blacks, oh I'm sorry, "African-Americans" walking around wearing their "African" colors. You know, red, green, yellow. Do they even know what those colors mean? Do they have any idea where their roots are? No, it's simply because it's cool. There's "African-American" and "Asian-American" and "Native-American"...well screw it, from now on I no longer want to be called "white", I'm a "European-American". And yes, I'm an American, damnit. My family name is German. Doesn't mean I run around wearing liederhosen and have a German flag on my wall or name my children Hans and Olga. I was born here, my parents were born here, as were their parents before them, and so on. I'll bet yours were too. If you don't like being an American, if you have so much disdain for the fact that you were born in this country, then by all means go back to your "homeland". See how well you fit in. See how much freedom you have. See what life is really like there. Get the hell out and leave America to us Americans.

4th of July

My roommate and I went down to 41st and the FDR to watch the annual Macy's 4th of July fireworks. Prime spots. A lot better than last year when we didn't get there until they'd started and were stuck behind the UN building. What a great show! According to my watch it lasted for 34 minutes. We were right behind the overpass, with the northernmost of the 4 barges right in front of us, so the explosions were almost directly overhead. At times your entire field of vision was nothing but explosions. Lots of new ones this year that I haven't seen before. I love fireworks...

After a long, crowded journey home we got off the subway just in time to see a neighborhood group setting off an aerial display of their own. Some pretty impressive stuff for just regular people. We watched them for about a half hour and then headed home, the explosions continuing into the wee hours of the morning. All in all, a great 4th of July. Hope yours was the same...

Ground Zero

On this Independence Day weekend, I figured what better way to celebrate the freedom and liberties that come with living in this country than to go down to the World Trade Center and pay my respects to all those who died on September 11th. I've lived in New York for a little over a year now and am ashamed to say I haven't been down there before.

It was a very somber, thoughtful atmosphere, most of the time people spoke in whispers. The entire area is fenced in and there are a lot of billboards posted with facts about the attacks, photographs, a timeline, and an alphabetical list of all those who died. It was pretty much what I expected to see.

What I didn't expect was that in one brief moment a surge of anger grew within me...no, not anger, RAGE. Like an intense flame in my chest that spread out to my fingertips. I wanted to find someone, ANYONE who was responsible for this and stab them as many times as I could with a dull, rusty, serrated knife and then set fire to their bleeding corpse, preferably while they were still conscious. I'm not kidding. I'm not sure I've ever hated someone that much. I just wanted to hurt them, hurt them in ways that shouldn't even be thought of...

And then, as quickly as it came on, it left. I felt strange, slightly disoriented. Yes, I thought seeing Ground Zero would be a sobering experience, but...what just happened? I experienced 9/11 on a TV screen, like most people. But being there, seeing that empty space firsthand is simply overwhelming.

Closed Captioned

So I went to Gold's Gym down on 54th and I'm on the elliptical machine watching MTV's "The Real World" on the screen (I know, why?). It's some scene where all the kids are hanging out in a loud nightclub trying to yell over the music. Now I'm in a gym, so the closed captioning is turned on, and I'm thinking, "Wow, the people typing this can really keep up with the words even with a LOT of background noise".

Just then, the camera pans up to the stage where some "gangsta" rapper is doing his thing. The caption simply says "indistinguishable rapping"...

Immortality continued...

Okay, I think you're all missing the point here...

My point is that everything we say in this digital forum is basically a collection of ones and zeros, which don't actually exist. They don't age, they won't decay, and they can't succumb to the hands of time. It is unlike anything that's come before.

Besides, you could be the greatest writer in the world, but unless you actually get published, no one is ever going to quote something you wrote. Here we have the possibility of reaching millions of people, and perhaps something we say here will strike a chord in someone who will pass it on for generations to come...

Immortality

Not so long ago, in a galaxy very near our own, previous generations lived on through a letter they wrote, pictures in a photo album, or some old belongings, all of which wither and fade after time. The memory of what they thought, how they lived, their sense of humor, all diminishing with time. The memory of my grandparents, who they were, what they stood for, the sound of their voice, will probably die with my brothers and I. Little, if anything, of the actual people from generations past have survived the cruel eraser of time. But we've become a digital society. This is the information/technology age. We have the internet. What we say, the pictures we post, our thoughts and ideas, our websites and our blogs will live on, even in some small way, long after we're gone...like a tiny digital time capsule, maybe preserving just a small piece of who we are, and what it meant to be alive at this point in time.

June 14th

Well, exactly one year ago today I packed up my roller-skates in a suitcase, got on a train and moved into my apartment here in New York City. In some ways it seems hard to believe I've been here for a year already...in other ways it's not. I have literally been to a hundred auditions, spent a lot of time and money getting new headshots taken, updating my music book at the Lincoln Center Library, buying new dance clothes and shoes (and the bag to carry it all in), losing 20 lbs., and riding the subway (and walking) all over Manhattan running from audition to audition. Sounds like hell, right? Well it was, and is, but I still wouldn't trade it for anything. It's a strange way of life that most people can only dream of. Besides, I have a feeling it's all going to come to an abrupt end sooner rather than later. The one thing I'm not looking forward to experiencing again is the relentless heat and humidity of another New York summer.

I've also enjoyed a lot of great things here...roller-skating at the "skate circle" in Central Park, hanging out in Times Square, walking around the upper-west side, hiking up at Inwood Park, and meeting lots of new and interesting people. It is time to move on though, my suitcases are getting bored. Travelling the world and seeing all it's many sights is in my blood, and I've been sitting here for way too long.

A light at the end of the tunnel?

I know, bad "Starlight" reference...

I had a really good audition yesterday for Crystal Cruises. I sang 3 songs, was taught a ballet and jazz combination, did cartwheels across the floor(?), some tap and then a "mover" combination (she wanted to see our "personality"). At the end of the day they said "thank you" to everyone and asked me to stay...just me. Then they talked to me for almost an hour about what the job entails. It almost sounded like they were trying to talk me out of it at times. They seemed very interested in hiring me, however the casting director is flying out to London today to audition more people. So I sit and wait...again. She said I should know something soon, and she would be back in the U.S. on the 11th. I don't want to jinx myself, and perhaps I've already said too much, so I'll just wait until I have some sort of confirmation...

Audition season

Just when you think audition season is over, a whole new string of auditions comes around. I had a good one yesterday, just strangely not for the show I was auditioning for...

I went to audition for a series of small tours with Theater of the Stars, "My Fair Lady", "The King and I" and "Bombay Dreams". One guess as to which show I was going for. Anyway, once I go into the room I see Baayork Lee sitting behind the desk, who was the original Connie in "A Chorus Line" on Broadway, and directed me in the same show in Atlantic City. Turns out she's going to be choreographer for the revival of " A Chorus Line" coming to Broadway next year. So Baayork recognizes me (sort of), and asks if I'll be going to the dance call later this month. I said, "Only if you want me to", and she said she wanted to see me for the part of Larry (the assistant choreographer). So hey, that at least sounds promising, even if she's blowing smoke up my ass, I'll take what I can get...

Sunday in the park with George

Okay, so maybe it was on a Saturday...

Here I am posing with my new friend, who I guess I just named George. I recently had the privilege of participating in "It's My Park" day up at Inwood Hill Park. It's a bi-annual event where the city asks for volunteeers to help clean up and restore the city's parks. For those of you who don't know, Inwood Hill is one of the only natural parks left in Manhattan. Other than a few paved walkways, it is exactly the same as it was 100's of years ago when the Indians roamed here. So I headed up with about 20 other people, loaded a truck with a variety of tree saplings (oak, birch and dogwood to name a few), and was given a shovel. We were led into the hills and, after a short lesson on how to plant them, spent the afternoon covering the hillside with baby trees. Collectively, we managed to plant over 150 trees, managing to get in 13 myself. Not having a garden of my own (and missing one), I figured it was the best way to get a little dirt under my fingernails while giving something back to the community. I've enjoyed Inwood Hill Park so much in the past year I felt it was the very least I could do. First we cleared the area of non-indigenous plantlife, mostly garlic mustard, then we cleaned the area. You wouldn't believe how much stuff people throw into the forest. I think everyone should be required to clean up all the crap that everyone else leaves behind, that way perhaps they'd have more respect for nature. You wouldn't believe the stuff I found. An old, rusty bed frame, a large cement pot, garbage bags, not to mention the requisite beer bottles and cigarette packages. But I'm not talking about a small park on the side of the road, I'm talking about a 196 acre natural preserve, in an area that takes at least 20-25 minutes to walk to. How do you get a bed frame up there? And why? Anyway, I had a blast, and there are many more events coming up now that spring is here...

OK, now what?

Any ideas about what I should post here? Should I talk about the difficulties of trying to make life work as a performer in New York City? Tell stories about my life's travels? Or simply write about the day to day thoughts we all have?

I guess what lays most heavily on my mind at the moment is work. Or the lack of, I suppose. In just over 2 weeks it will have been 1 year since the national tour of "Starlight Express" closed, and I haven't worked since. This is the longest I've been without a job since 1995 when I moved to L.A. and tried to break into the film industry (huge mistake). It seems I go to 4 or 5 auditions a week, get an occasional callback, and then zip. How many times can a person be told, "Thank you...don't call us, we'll call you" before they start to lose hope? I keep waiting for my damn phone to ring, but it never does. There are a few good auditions on the horizon, and that sometimes is the only thing that keeps me going. But who's to say they're not just going to be another miserable waste of my time? The 2 things I would most like to do right now are 1) get cast in a broadway show (no brainer) and 2) perform on a cruise ship. I love to travel and it's something that everyone keeps telling me I would love to do. Of course, I'd like to work for one of the better companies like Royal Carribean, Celebrity or Crystal Cruises. Not that I have any first-hand knowledge of any of them, but I've been told they are good companies to work for...

Okay, enough rambling. I guess this is easier than I thought.